Four behaviors that derail conversations.

THE MANAGEMENT TIP OF THE DAY: Harvard Business Review

November 08, 2017

Avoid These 4 Behaviors That Derail Conversations

When difficult conversations at work go wrong, they can rapidly devolve into unproductive arguments. Keep your discussion on track by minding the A-BCDs: Avoid Blame, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling.

Blame: Try not to make assumptions about what your colleague is thinking, and don’t make groundless accusations. Keep the conversation focused on facts.

Contempt: Acknowledge when you’ve lashed out in exasperation, and do your best to avoid making judgments.

Defensiveness: Take responsibility for your part in the conversation. Are you open to input, or do you interpret new ideas as criticism?

Stonewalling: Commit to listening and contributing with an open mind, instead of avoiding an unpleasant topic or refusing to participate fully in the conversation.
Any of these behaviors can derail a discussion, so make a commitment to yourself — and your teammates — to avoid them.
Adapted from “8 Ways to Get a Difficult Conversation Back on Track,” by Monique Valcour